


The Cloud Catchers Collective

by allmystars



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cloud Watching, Dean Winchester Being an Asshole, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Impressions, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 11:44:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18365339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmystars/pseuds/allmystars
Summary: Castiel—head of The Cloud Catchers Collective cloud watching club—has never, in all his four years of cloud watching, met anyone who doesn’t want to watch the clouds as emphatically as Dean Winchester, and still have them sign up.





	The Cloud Catchers Collective

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this idea while trying really hard to put off doing homework! Please let me know if my procrastination was worth it by leaving comments/kudos!
> 
> Okay, love y'all!
> 
> Also, hit me up on Instagram @allmystars_i and Tumblr @allmystars-i

Castiel—head of _The_ _Cloud_ _Catchers_ _Collective,_ cloud watching club—has never, in all his four years of cloud watching, met anyone who doesn’t want to watch the clouds as emphatically as Dean Winchester, and _still_ have them sign up.

Now, Castiel likes to consider himself a fairly patient person—one doesn’t become the King of the Clouds without having at least a little bit of patience. Well, that, and a keen eye for the wonders of the sky.

But Dean…Dean Winchester is testing his very _last_ nerve.

It starts with him snorting at the t-shirts, then at their club name, before finally bursting into laughter at the cloud chart Castiel hands out to all the members—as he does at the beginning of all their meetings—but still, he gives him a tight smile and reminds him that in _The Cloud Catchers Collective_ they respect everyone’s opinions and take them in with equal weight to their own.

Dean laughs at this as well and Castiel has to turn away before he socks the obnoxious man over the head with his stack of cloud charting charts.

“Okay, since it’s our first meeting of the summer, I will explain how this works so all of you can get on board.” He shoots a look at Dean who is still smirking off to the side, his hand covering his mouth to hide his laughter, but it’s no use since his shoulders shake with it. “Find a nice, grassy spot with a clear and wide view of the skies. Try not to lay too close to anyone else; this is supposed to be a solitary experience and talking defeats the purpose—”

“What, exactly, _is_ the purpose?” Dean asks, cutting him off mid-sentence.

He shoots a glare at Dean, and, just by that stupid smirk, he can tell Dean doesn’t really care to know. Well, that’s just too bad for him, isn’t it?

“If you would let me _finish,_ Mr. Winchester—”

“Oh, I’ll let you _finish_ alright,” he mutters under his breath, but Cas still hears, and the hot flush that spreads over his cheeks lets Dean know it.

“—you would have found out that cloud watching can be very _relaxing._ It allows you to get outside your own mind and focus on complex things beyond one’s own _simple thoughts._ It might be a little _difficult_ for you at first since all your thoughts seem to be _excessively_ simple.” He gives him one more tight smile as Dean’s jaw snaps shut. Castiel would be a little proud of himself if he didn’t feel so _guilty_ for the harsh words _._

“Any questions?” He looks at the group with raised eyebrows, and a dark-haired woman with blue eyes raises her hand—Hannah, he remembers. “Yes, Hannah?”

She smiles at the sound of her own name, obviously happy to be remembered. “I have two questions, actually.” Castiel nods for her to go ahead. “First, how many shapes should we document this time?”

“We’ll begin with thirty minutes of watching and five shapes today. Start off easy for the new-comers,” he answers with a smile, getting satisfied nods from other members.

“Secondly, I was wondering about the shirts? When can we get ours?” Her smile is wide and giddy as she gazes at the new shirt design that Castiel has donned for the occasion.

“I’ll have a sign-up sheet at the end of today’s session, so come see me after with your twenty dollars and size requirements. They should all be ordered and in by next week. Any more questions?” No one raises their hand as they fiddle with their pencils, waiting patiently for the go-ahead. “Alright, then!” Castiel claps his hands. “I’ll set a timer once we’re all settled. Please, go find your cloud space.”

They disperse, finding their ideal spaces in the open area of the park that Castiel gets sectioned off once a week according to the forecast. Everyone’s idea of a perfect space is different, depending on how they feel in the moment.

Castiel chooses a space on the edge of their section, wanting the seclusion to just observe the sky, and, once everyone is settled, he lies down and starts the timer, sinking into the grass and settling his mind as he watches the soft, white shapes float across the sky.

It’s so quiet—so peaceful…for about a minute and a half.

“What if I see a dick cloud? Can I draw that?” Dean shouts from across the field, presumably disturbing all ten of the other _Cloud Catchers_.

Castiel sighs, his eyes closing as his blood pressure rises. “Draw what you see.”

“Even if it’s not PG-13? Cloud watching seems pretty tame to me, so I'm thinking maybe I shouldn’t?”

“Just _draw_ what you _see,_ ” Castiel grates, his molars grinding together now.

“Fine, fine—a dick it is, then.”

“I’ll remind you that this is a _silent_ activity.”

“Oh, right. Sorry. Shit, sorry! Shit.”

Castiel closes his eyes on a sigh, deciding that this particular cloud watching day just isn’t going to be his day, and he’s never been so grateful for cloud watching to end than he is when the alarm goes off. Despite Dean’s apologies for talking, he didn’t _stop,_ asking questions for the whole thirty-minute session until Castiel’s blood pressure had risen to a dangerous level.

He smiles a tight, little smile at all the other members as they gather their things to go. He has never, in all his four years of doing this, been so stressed out after a session, and he _hates_ it.

He’s just packing up the rest of his things and gathering the last few names for t-shirts when Dean approaches him, confident smirk in place. He even has a _swagger_ going on. Castiel hates that, too.

“Hey, Cas!” Dean grins, and it’s all Castiel can do not to glare at the other man. “I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner? Like, a date?” He smiles so confidently that Castiel actually, _truly_ wants to smack it right off his handsome face.

“You really think I’d want to go out with you?” Dean’s smile falls in an instant, but Castiel is too mad to care. “After how you ruined today’s session for me?”

Dean shrugs, “It’s just _cloud watching._ ”

Castiel huffs a laugh as he throws his backpack over his shoulder. “Yeah, it’s _just_ cloud watching to _you,_ but, honestly, it’s the only reason the stress of my life hasn’t managed to kill me,” Castiel snaps. He has no idea why he’s saying all this to Dean, of all people, but once he starts, it’s hard to stop. “This is the only time I get to myself all week and you’ve _ruined_ it for me so, _no,_ I don’t want to go out with you.” With one final look, Castiel turns away, leaving Dean shocked and confused, but Castiel just doesn’t really care.

***

By the time the next session comes around, Castiel is practically _begging_ for Dean to not be there. He needs his peace with the clouds after the week he’s had. From taking Claire almost full-time while his twin brother, Jimmy, deals with his chemo treatments, to not getting a promotion at work that he’s been looking forward to for _months…_ yeah, he definitely needs this today.

He drops the box of shirts under the tree where all the bags are placed and he’s immediately swarmed by eager bodies, practically vibrating with excitement. It makes him smile for the first time in a week and he thinks that maybe today won’t be so bad after all.

But, as he’s handing out shirts, he spots Dean leaning against a tree about ten yards away, kicking at the grass with both hands tucked in his pockets, and Castiel’s mood instantly sours.

He goes through the motions of handing out charting sheets and declaring the time and number of shapes they’ll need to collect, but he’s annoyed the whole time; the excited chatter is no longer enjoyable, but annoying, and every time someone asks a question, Castiel finds his patience thinning even more.

By the time he sets the timer and lies down in the grass, his stress level has peaked and his blood simmers with annoyance. Once again, he finds himself unable to watch the clouds because of the _noise_ , but this time it doesn’t come from Dean. A bunch of teenagers have wandered into their _sectioned-off_ space of land and don’t seem to understand the concept of _lowering one’s voice_.

His temper boils over when it becomes obvious that they aren’t going away and he stands with a huff, marching over to their little group with a scowl firmly set on his face. “Hey! This space isn’t free for public use. Please leave,” he says as politely as he can manage at the moment. They just look him up and down before going back to their yelled conversation, completely ignoring his presence. “Fine, I’ll have to call park security, then, and have them _remove_ you.” That get’s even less of a reaction than before.

“Get the fuck out of here, you little shits, before I kick your fucking asses!” Dean snarls as he comes up beside Cas, his eyes stormy as he glares at them. It has them running, obviously not used to a grown man telling them off, and Cas’s mood sours even more.

“Why’d you do that?” Castiel snaps, turning his glare on Dean.

“I thought you wanted them gone?” With his eyes wide with shock, Dean shakes his head in disbelief.

“Yeah, but not like that! You’re an adult, Dean! Act like one!” Castiel spins on his heel and storms off, dropping back into his spot in the grass with a huff.

“Did you really think your way was going to _work?_ ” He laughs—actually _laughs—_ and roll his eyes. “You’ve obviously never dealt with teenagers.”

Castiel glares up at Dean, who’s now standing over him. “I _was_ a teenager; I know perfectly well how they are.”

“Obviously not.”

“At least I didn’t threaten them with _violence,_ ” Castiel scoffs, turning his head away—he doesn’t even want to _look_ at Dean, no matter how _handsome_ he is.

“No, _you_ threatened them with _park security,_ as if they actually _care_.” He crosses his arms over his chest and Castiel decides he’s had enough.

He ignores the ringing alarm as he stands, facing Dean with his deadliest glare. “This is _my_ group, Dean, and I will _not_ let you ruin it for me. I don’t _care_ if you got them to go away, you did it _wrong._ You’ve made this experience bad for everybody and I can’t stress enough how much I mean it when I say I don’t want to see you here again. Not _ever._ ”

Castiel’s not prepared for the flash of hurt that shoots across Dean’s face, or the way he seems to deflate on the spot, his shoulders slumping as his face falls. He’s _definitely_ not prepared for the guilt that floods him right after, either, but there it is.

He’s opening his mouth to apologize, but Dean’s nodding before he can. “O-okay,” he whispers before turning away, his swagger not so confident as he grabs his things and leaves. Castiel watches him the entire time as he walks to his big, black, beast of a car. He watches as it speeds off, too.

He doesn’t know how to handle the feeling in his stomach after that—doesn’t even have a name for it—but he doesn’t like it. Not one bit.

***

“I don’t know what his problem is. He thinks cloud watching is _stupid,_ he doesn’t respect any of the other groupies—”

“That word doesn’t necessarily mean what you think it means, Castiel,” Jimmy cuts in, but Cas ignores him, continuing on with his rant.

“I just don’t get it! If he thinks it’s a waste of time, _why_ is he there?” Castiel huffs, bouncing Claire on his knee a little faster than is strictly necessary. Jimmy tugs his blanket closer as his cold sweats make him shiver. They’re in the hospital for yet another check-up and the doctors are taking just as much time getting here as they usually do, but Castiel doesn’t mind waiting with Jimmy. His brother acts strong and stoic, but he knows he’s scared.

“Have you actually _asked_ him why he signed up?” Jimmy’s hairless eyebrow raises as sweat drips down his forehead. Castiel pauses his knee bouncing and sits up straighter, his mouth snapping shut because, no, he never _did_ ask Dean why he was there.

“Well, no…”

“Maybe you should do that. You have your reasons for running the club, so what’s to say he doesn’t? Maybe you’ll find a little sympathy for him in his answer.” Jimmy gives a half shrug as Castiel ponders this notion. He hadn’t thought of that.

He has been so caught up in the fact that Dean was ruining the experience for _him_ that he never stopped to think about why Dean was seeking out the experience in the first place.

“Go call him, or meet up with him, or _something._ Go now.” Jimmy peeks a hand up through his blanket to shoo him off.

“No, I need to be here—”

“You _don’t._ I’ve done this alone before, so I’ll be fine. Just drop Claire off at the daycare center on your way out. Seriously, go.” Jimmy shoos him again. “I can call Mom to come and get me; I’m sure she’ll love to see Claire.”

Castiel hesitates once more before sighing and pushing himself out of his chair. “Call me if you need anything and I’ll be here in—”

“ _Go,_ ” Jimmy laughs, smiling weakly before resting his head back and closing his eyes. “I could use the peace and quiet, jeez.”

Cas rolls his eyes but doesn’t argue, taking Claire to the daycare before finding a seat in the lobby and pulling up the _Cloud Catchers Collective_ sign-ups, scrolling until he finds _Winchester, Dean._

The number is right there where it should be, sitting unassumingly in its little box, but Castiel’s heart still races as he takes a deep breath and types it into his phone.

The first time he calls, it rings out, going to voicemail. Castiel calls again and this time, he gets an answer.

“Yeah?” Dean asks, his voice rough and tired.

“Uh, hello, Dean. It’s Castiel? Castiel Novak, from…from _The Cloud Catchers Collective_.” He cringes—why did he say the _name?_

“Cas?”

“Yeah…I was wondering if we could get coffee sometime?” He cringes again, knowing how stupid he must sound asking a guy out that he turned down not even two weeks ago.

“Seriously? Um…okay…are you free now?” A spark of…something enters Dean’s voice and Castiel isn’t quite sure what to do with it.

So he names a place and a time and they hang up. He sits there for a moment, staring at the dark phone in his hands as he resists the smile that tries to force its way onto his face.

 

Castiel decides on a table on the patio of the little coffee shop he and Dean agreed to meet at. He holds his iced latté between both hands, rolling it nervously. He doesn’t know what he’s going to say, but he knows he needs to find out why Dean signed up in the first place.

Maybe there’s no reason at all and he can carry on disliking Dean? Who knows? What reason could he possibly have for showing up to a club he only wants to make fun of? There can’t be a good one, that’s for sure.

He doesn’t have any more time to dwell on it, though, as the chair across from him slides out and Dean takes a seat, smiling awkwardly and avoiding eye contact.

“I don’t know what you drink, so…” He says by way of greeting. Smooth, Cas—real smooth.

“Don’t worry about it.” Dean shifts a little more and Castiel can’t help but mimic him. He feels antsy and…and a little _guilty._ He doesn’t like it. “So, what’d you want to talk about?” Good, jump right into it.

“Why did you sign up for _The Cloud Catchers?_ ” Castiel asks, jumping right into it, too. Dean’s head jerks back in surprise as his eyebrows shoot into his hairline. Did Castiel jump too fast?

“Wasn’t expecting that,” Dean murmurs, blinking a few times as he folds his hands on the table in front of him. “You really want to know?”

Castiel nods.

“Okay, you can’t laugh, or make fun of me, or feel sorry for me, or…or anything, okay?”

Castiel wants to ask why—to question what could possibly be so embarrassing that he’d laugh at Dean for it—but the look in Dean’s wide eyes has him pausing. Instead, he simply nods.

“Okay, well about a year ago now, my mom past away and I…I don’t know, I took it harder than I ever expected to.” He shrugs, fidgeting some more as Castiel’s heart sinks. “My brother wanted me to do something to relax a little since high blood pressure’s a silent killer, you know?” He chuckles but Castiel can feel the strain in it anyway.

Dean is hurting and Castiel is an ass.

“He suggested yoga and I suggested he shove that idea up his ass, so I guess he did some research and found you…” He gestures at Castiel as he trails off. “He signed me up without telling me, then got me drunk and made me promise to go if he beat me at a poker game. I thought he was shit at poker all these years…” He shakes his head with a rueful smile and Castiel can’t help feeling for the other man. “I was an ass that first day because I was uncomfortable. It’s a defense mechanism, you know? I know it doesn’t excuse how shitty I was, but it is what it is and I’m sorry.” He shrugs and sits back in his chair, finally meeting Castiel’s eyes. He sees nothing but apology in them and his own guilt swells.

“I owe you an apology as well,” Castiel murmurs, pushing away his half-full cup, unable to finish it with his rolling stomach. “I shouldn’t have been so harsh on you; I didn’t know your story and that’s something I pride myself on—always knowing what _The Cloud Catchers_ is offering to its members.”

Dean reaches across the table and grabs Castiel’s hand in his, startling him and making him jump in surprise, but it’s not unpleasant and he finds that it’s actually quite nice so he leaves his hand under Dean’s.

“Can we start over? Please?” Dean’s imploring eyes burn into Castiel and he decides he wants nothing more than to get to know Dean again—properly this time.

A breath of air whooshes out of him and he smiles. “I would like that,” he agrees with a small nod. “Do you like pie? This place has the best apple pie I’ve ever had. Well, besides my own, that is.” Castiel’s grin widens with Dean’s eyes and he can’t help the little flutter in his chest when Dean’s own grin grows to match. “I’ll be right back,” Castiel says, standing and reluctantly pulling his hand out from under Dean’s.

He hurries inside, ordering two slices of apple pie and paying before carrying them back to their table and grinning at the way Dean wiggles in his seat.

“You like pie, then?” Castiel asks as he sets one plate down in front of Dean.

“Like it? If pie were a person, I’d _marry_ it.” Then his mouth is full and he’s _moaning._ Castiel has to look away because the sight of Dean Winchester enjoying his food is a little obscene for this family establishment. Not that Castiel minds, since…well…Dean Winchester is _beautiful_ in a way not many people are.

When Castiel is down to his last few bites and Dean is busy scraping his plate clean, a thought occurs to him. “Dean?”

“Hmm?” He glances up from his plate for half a second before refocusing. It’s incredibly endearing and for half a second, Cas forgets what he was going to ask.

He shakes himself out of it, though. “How do you like cloud watching, anyway?” Castiel is actually, seriously curious since not many people get as into it as he does and he wants to know how to change that in the future.

Dean raises an eyebrow at him. “You mean for the session and a half that I was allowed to participate in?”

Castiel smiles sheepishly and ducks his head. Yeah, that was a stupid question.

“I don’t know…it’s not really my thing?” Dean answers anyway. “I work out my frustration by _doing_ things, but I guess I can see how it appeals to some.” He shrugs, smiling lopsidedly at Cas.

“You’re not as big of an ass as I thought you were, you know?” Castiel says, nudging Dean’s foot under the table with his own.

Dean just rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I kind of am,” he says with a grin. “And you’re not as uptight as I thought you were.”

“Yeah, I kind of am,” Castiel says, parroting Dean as they both chuckle. Castiel notices for the first time how relaxed he is. He hasn’t felt this calm in so long that he almost forgot what it was like, but it’s nice being here with Dean. He likes him, and the flutter he feels in his stomach every time Dean smiles tells him it's as more than just friends. “You know, we could try the cloud watching again to see you like it better?”

Dean raises an eyebrow, his pretty green eyes sparkling in the light as his fingers curl around his keys. “Lead the way, Sunshine.”

Castiel can’t help the giddy smile that turns up his mouth at the pet-name. He could get used to that, he thinks.

 

“I still don’t think this is my thing,” Dean grumbles from where he lays next to Castiel, shifting and fidgeting to get comfortable.

“You’re not supposed to talk.” Castiel reminds him, turning his head to meet Dean’s playful eyes and mischievous grin.

“I like talking to you.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and turns his gaze back to the thick, fluffy clouds in the sky, not gratifying that with a response as he forms the clouds into the shape of a dragon in his mind. “If you want to talk so bad, tell me what you see.”

“um…okay, well, right now I see an angel,” Dean offers, shifting a little closer to Castiel’s side.

“Good. What else?”

Dean shifts. “Nothing else—just an angel.”

“I see a dragon,” Castiel adds, pointing to the shape in the sky. “And there’s a donkey and…and that one looks like a palm tree.” He smiles and closes his eyes for a moment, just enjoying the sunshine on his face. The ground his hard beneath him but the grass is soft and thick. It’s like a warm blanket.

A soft breeze blows through his hair and that soothing calm settles over him again. He swears he can feel the heat of Dean’s body against his side and he wants to move closer—to feel his skin touching Dean’s—but he’s terrified that he’s the only one that feels it.

What happens if he lets his budding feelings show and Dean’s weirded out by it?

Dean _did_ ask him out on a date, though, but what if he’s changed his mind since? It’s a risk Castiel isn’t willing to take.

“Anything new?” Castiel asks and he feels Dean’s arm brush his as he shrugs.

“Nope, still just an angel.” His voice is softer than Castiel expected and he thinks maybe Dean is finally getting into the spirit of cloud watching.

“The wind is pretty steady; you should be able to see more soon,” he reassures and Dean sighs softly.

“What else do you see?” Dean asks instead of commenting. Castiel glances over and finds his eyes trained on him. He grins a little before turning back to the sky.

“Um…okay, there’s a car. Do you see it?” He points and glances at Dean who is looking at the sky again.

“Yeah, yeah I think so. Kind of looks like the Impala.” He grins, scrunching his nose up and laughing breathily. His freckles stand out starkly against his skin and, not for the first time, Castiel notices how beautiful Dean is.

Castiel waves his hand in Dean’s direction, grazing his thigh with his fingertips before turning his face back to the clouds when Dean smiles. “There you go! Fun isn’t it?”

“I don’t know about _fun,_ but is it kind of nice.”

They lay in silence for a while. Castiel occasionally points things out that he thinks Dean might want to see, but otherwise, he enjoys this new peace he’s found with Dean.

When the sun starts to set, they sit up to watch. Castiel isn’t ready to say goodbye to Dean yet—to the peace he brings—so he doesn’t. He soaks in as much of Dean’s energy as he can for as long as he can, forgetting for a while all the stress in his life.

They end up sitting there until the streetlights come on and they begin to shiver. Castiel sighs as he reluctantly pushes himself to his feet, his legs aching as the blood flows back into them.

Dean stands with him, looking just as disappointed as Castiel feels at having their night end.

“We should do this again sometime,” Castiel suggests, his stomach fluttering when Dean beams in response.

“Maybe I can take you for dinner, too?” He tilts his head with a lopsided grin and Castiel thinks his heart might just be melting in his chest.

“I’d like that.” He nods, “You have my number, so call me whenever you’re free. Or come to cloud watching next week and we can go after?”

“It’s a date.”

Castiel’s heart soars at the sound of that word. _Date._ He can’t _wait_ for next week.

 

Castiel is handing out the last of the late-ordered t-shirts when Dean arrives and he grins wide and happy when he sees him. Dean smiles a crooked grin, tucking his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket as Cas digs out the shirt he had ordered for Dean on a whim.

They’ve been dating for almost a month now—going strong since the day they apologized to each other over iced coffee and apple pie. Castiel has done his best to learn everything he possibly can about Dean Winchester and has grown to adore absolutely all of it. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this comfortable with another person—doesn’t think he’s ever been this _happy._

He holds the t-shirt out for him, grinning so wide his cheeks ache, as Dean raises an eyebrow. “What’s this?” he asks, taking in the blue shirt with the pink and purple clouds on the front—the words _The Cloud Catchers Collective_ printed over the material in a looping font.

“I got it for you!” Cas exclaims, holding it out to a grinning Dean. He takes it from him before glancing up at Cas, who’s sporting a t-shirt the exact same as the one in Dean’s hands.

“You know I’m never gonna wear this, right?” Dean folds it neatly and holds it in one hand by his side.

“Yeah, I know, but I thought I’d get you one anyway—just in case.” Castiel pulls him in, planting a quick kiss on his cheek before leading him over to the rest of the group who have either pulled their shirts on over their other clothes, are wearing them already, or have taken off their other shirts to wear the new ones.

Dean suddenly pulls him to a stop. “Hold this,” he grunts, thrusting the t-shirt into Castiel’s chest before peeling off his jacket and tossing it aside.

“What are you…?” Castiel’s eyes widen when Dean reaches for the hem of his t-shirt, his flannel already tossed aside. His jaw practically hits the ground when Dean pulls his shirt off, his golden skin shining in the sun as his muscle ripple. Castiel should look away—he _really_ should—but he can’t, and really, he doesn’t _want_ to. Dean is beautiful, even as he snatches the t-shirt from Castiel’s frozen hands.

He mutters under his breath, “I’m not gonna be the odd man out, here.” Then he’s in the t-shirt and it fits perfectly. Castiel shakes himself and leads Dean on, trying hard to ignore the hot flush spreading across his skin and the sweet fluttering in his stomach.

He gives his spiel and Dean listens intently the whole time, even taking up a cloud chart and a pencil before searching for his ideal spot.

Unsurprisingly, that spot is right next to Cas.

“You’re not going to talk, are you?” Cas turns his head to look at Dean, raising an eyebrow before narrowing his eyes playfully.

Dean’s face morphs in mock-surprise. He places a hand on his chest as he tries to fight his grin. “Who, me? A loyal and respectful member of _The Cloud Catchers Collective?_ ”

Castiel rolls his eyes and grins, turning his eyes back to the sky as he starts the timer and settles in.

“No promises,” Dean whispers and Cas gasps, swatting at his thigh as his eyes shoot to him.

“Dean!” He shouts, before immediately cringing at how loud that was.

“ _Quiet,_ Cas! People are trying to _focus!_ ” Dean hisses before grinning softly. Castiel swats at him again but Dean catches his hand this time, twining their fingers’ together in the grass between them.

Castiel is so distracted by the warm strength of Dean’s fingers that he can’t concentrate on the clouds. He’s looking at the sky, but not really seeing it for the first thirty minutes they lay there. This time, he doesn’t mind, though, because he’s _calm_ again. Peaceful and serene with just the heat of Dean’s body so close to his.

When Castiel’s phone rings, he thinks it’s the alarm at first, so he doesn’t bother getting up, just enjoying the sun on his face for a little bit longer.

It stops, then starts again a few moments later.

Castiel’s heart jumps into his throat as he’s pulled out of his daze and he lunges for his phone, pressing the _answer_ button as he stands, walking as fast as he can out of earshot of the others.

“Hello? Jimmy?” Castiel says, even though he knows it’s not Jimmy’s number that called. His stomach clenches with fear because somehow, he knows. He _knows,_ but he needs to hear it.

“Mr. Novak? This is Jimmy’s doctor. We need you to come to the hospital right away.” His heart sinks as his knees shake.

“O-okay. I’ll…I’ll be there as soon as I can.” His voice is barely above a whisper as he tries to keep it from trembling too much. He hangs up and heads back to the group, trying his hardest to control himself as he meets Dean’s concerned eyes. He has to turn away—to deal with the group first—before he breaks down. “E-excuse me?” He clears his throat and bites his bottom lip as his knees shake dangerously. “I, uh…need to leave, so today’s session is finished. Stay if you’d like, but I have to go…” He spins on his heel as his throat closes off, running for his car without waiting for anyone’s response.

“Cas!” Dean catches up to him but doesn’t try to stop him. “I’ll drive you. Wherever you need to go, I’ll drive you.”

Castiel doesn’t argue, too upset and, honestly, too shaky to drive himself anywhere right now. And he needs Dean—he needs his comfort—because there’s a very good possibility that when he gets to the hospital, he’ll find out he’s an only child for the first time in his life and the sole guardian of his two-year-old niece.

“Where to?” Dean asks once they're both in the car.

Cas stares, unblinking, at the dash as he speaks. “Hospital.”

Dean sucks in a sharp breath but doesn’t ask. He just drives and Castiel has never been so thankful for another person in his whole life.

 

“…despite our best efforts, his heart was just too weak and we were unable to resuscitate. Jimmy has died. We are so sorry for your loss.”

Castiel’s mother collapses to the floor, wailing out her pain. His father chokes on his breath as his eyes well with tears and he covers his mouth with his hand. His aunt grips his arm so tight he’s sure he’ll bruise. Dean holds his hand.

And Castiel? He watches his whole world crumble around him.

He holds on tight to Dean’s fingers’, hurting him, he’s sure, but he just keeps squeezing and Dean just keeps holding on. Castiel doesn’t move—doesn’t even _breathe_ —as he tries to accept the fact that Jimmy is _gone._

He stands there, long after the doctor has left—long after his parents and aunt have gone to find somewhere to sit and cry. He stands there longer than he should, but he doesn’t cry. He can’t—not yet.

Someone needs to take care of Claire.

“Claire, I need to get Claire.” He spins on his heel, Dean’s hand still held in his tight grip as he drags him to the hospital daycare center.

“Who’s Claire?” Dean jogs to keep up but, again, doesn’t try to stop him. This is the first he’s mentioned her, Castiel realizes, but he doesn’t have the mental capacity to think about that right now.

“My niece. Jimmy left her to me and I need to get her.” Castiel stops outside the door, watching through the window as Claire plays with the toys. Her little blonde head is impossible to miss and a wave of sorrow crashes over him as he watches her, but he pushes it back—holding it in for her sake.

The nurse at the front desk smiles at him when he enters. “Taking Claire to see her daddy?” She asks and a lump forms in Castiel’s throat.

“Actually…” He can’t say it out load—he _can’t_. If he does, it’ll make it all real and he’ll drown in his pain.

“Jimmy passed away about an hour ago,” Dean says for him, his voice barely above a whisper. “As I’m sure you know, Castiel is now Claire’s legal guardian.”

Castiel can’t watch as the nurse’s face falls. She doesn’t cry, though, and he’s sure it’s due to her training, but it grounds Castiel a bit—enough to settle his frayed nerves for the moment.

 

After too much paperwork and consultations with doctors, Castiel finally gets to take Claire home. By now, he’s so exhausted he can barely think straight and he’s never been so thankful for Dean. He holds his hand the whole way through it, and even though Dean never got the chance to meet Jimmy—he was always too sick or too tired for visitors—he seems to understand how close Castiel is to falling apart.

They’ve only known each other for about a month and a half, but he _gets_ Castiel. He understands what he needs as he straps the car seat into the back of his car for him and gets Claire settled.

Dean is silent beside him, not really driving anywhere in particular, but just _going._

“Thank you, Dean. You didn’t have to do any of this, but I’m glad you did,” Castiel whispers, watching Dean drive slowly through the streets.

He glances over at Cas with a small smile. “I like you, you know? Like, _really_ like you, and I want to do this with you if that’s what you want. I want to _try_ anyway, and see where this goes. And before you say it, yes, I’m good with the kid—that doesn’t bother me in the slightest.”

“Thank you,” Castiel whisper again as warmth floods him for the first time in hours.

 

“Where are we?” Castiel asks, sitting up when Dean pulls into a driveway.

“Friend of the family’s. Jody Mills is the sheriff and she practically helped raise me when my mom was working. We’re leaving Claire with her for a few hours.” He glances over at Cas to find him shaking his head.

“We can’t. No, she’s my responsibility.”

“Just for a few hours, Cas. I trust her with my life, you know? I wouldn’t ask this of you if I didn’t think Claire would be completely safe and if I didn’t know Jody would be thrilled to have her.”

Castiel thinks about it for a long time before deciding to just trust Dean. He nods and waits in the car as Dean takes her inside with all her bags and toys. He can’t watch him do it; he doesn’t think he’ll be able to hold himself together if he does.

Dean drives around for a while, seemingly with no direction. The sun is still high in the sky and it’s a beautiful day, but Castiel just wants to sleep. He wants to feel peaceful again like he did earlier today with Dean. He wants that more than _anything._

Castiel doesn’t notice when Dean parks the car and gets out, only glancing around at their surroundings when Dean opens his door to help him out. He goes willingly, following behind Dean as he leads him into the center of a grassy field.

He almost bursts into tears of gratitude when Dean lowers himself to the ground and pats the space next to him for Cas to lie down.

His breaths rattle out of him as he squeezes Dean’s hand, forcing his watery eyes open to look at the clouds. The sun has just barely started to set, coloring them in shades of red and orange. It’s so beautiful and something loosens in his chest as he listens to Dean’s steady breathing.

Tears leak out and fall down his cheeks as he finally lets himself feel the pain. It crashes over him in waves, swelling in his chest until he’s sobbing uncontrollably. Dean pulls him into his arms, holding him close as he falls apart. He so _thankful_ for him—more so than he ever thought he could be.

Something about Dean being here feels like a cushion against the blows his life keeps dealing out. Like a balm on his heart as he soaks his new t-shirt with tears, and all Dean does is hold him close and let him cry.

He doesn’t need cloud watching anymore, he realizes. Dean is so much better than that. He brings the most peace and joy to Castiel’s life, even when it’s falling apart.

So he closes his eyes and rests his head over Dean’s heartbeat. He feels the life in Dean—he feels the life in _himself—_ and he knows that Dean will _keep_ being here to remind him of that.


End file.
